A famous television presenter has killed his very ill partner, the police revealed today.
Apparently the presenter in question repeatedly said the French word for "thank you" to his boyfriend of fifty years until the latter passed away. The celebrity defended himself saying it was a "Merci" killing.
In a previous effort to help his partner to die he had played non stop tracks by Liverpudlian songstress Cilla Black. He had been accused at the time of attempting a "Mersey" killing.
And according to neighbours, he had even tried speeding up the demise of his partner by taking him to an ancient anglo-saxon kingdom and leaving him in the River Trent - a so-called Mercia killing.
And even prior to that he had tried to end the suffering of his partner by taking him on a day trip to a South Wales former mining community - a so called Merthyr (Tydfil) killing.
But finally he decided that he had run out of tasteless puns for what he was trying to do, so smothered the dying gay lover with a pillow.