Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 21 February 2010

image for Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens, Johnny Depp, Britney Spears, and Donny Osmond To Star In The Remake of "Bonnie & Clyde"
Britney Spears will star as Clyde Barrow's sister-in-law Blanche Barrow. (Photo courtesy of Warren Beatty).

HOLLYWOOD - Sand Castle Pictures in association with MGM has just announced that they have signed Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens to star in the remake of the Warren Beatty - Faye Dunaway depression days outlaw classic Bonnie and Clyde.

Noted Italian director Gardino Grabalini will direct the epic film which will be shot in location in Dime Box, Texas.

Grabalini said that the movie will take on a comedic twist as it has been re-written by the writing group known as The Third Coast Barbecue Guild.

In the film Clyde Barrow will drive a Studebaker convertible and he will be dressed in a blue work shirt and red, white, and blue boxer shorts. He will wear no pants, socks, or shoes.

His partner in crime and in the bedroom, Bonnie Parker will wear a pair of Daisy Duke short shorts and the tightest pink halter top that Victoria's Secret sells and will say things like, "My, but my it's so gosh darn hot," "Shucks, my ass is burning on this damn hot car seat," and "Clyde, hon, can you come over here and kiss my ass and make my boiling hot seat belt buckle butt burn boo-boo go away."

Co-Starring with Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens will be Johnny Depp as Clyde's brother Buck, a man who can shoot the lint out of a beaver's belly button without the beaver even knowing it.

Britney Spears will portray Buck's former post-dancer (pre-pole dancer) wife Blanche. Blanche physically has aged gracefully considering she used to have the best looking pair of Yaboochies (titalickies) in Central Texas.

And rounding out the quintet of Texas depression-era bank robbers is Donny Osmond as C.W. Moss. Moss is one of the few auto mechanics in the entire state of Texas who can literally take a part a complete automobile and then put it back together again with maybe only two or three at the most, parts left over.

The movie which will be rated R for rollicking, will be in theaters on December 7, 2010.

In a related story. Lindsay Lohan is still upset that she was turned down for the part of Blanche Barrow. She said that the reason she was given was two-fold. One she was told she had a hard time trying to master Blanche Barrow's Texas country girl accent. And two she just had way to many freckles.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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