The widely ignored and disregarded writing partnership of "Collins and Dutton" are to re-unite based on rumours circulating the social elite.
The pair famously split following a well publicised spell of alcohol fuelled arguments and violence, when Dutton announced that he was quitting the team to join a circus.
The pair had initially been vocal within the media, with Collins stating that they would think about reforming when "Britain gets a succesful long distance runner, that moron Robbie Williams sires a child, and someone manages to convince the world that Jimmy Saville was a monster".
Incredibly, with these things now all having happened, the pair are to reunite with both groups bringing a number of bodyguards and security teams.
Given their crippling age and dementure, it is likely that the pair may not see out the year.