Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 18 February 2010

image for Miley Cyrus Quitting Hanna Montana - Selena Gomez To Take Her Place
Selena Gomez shown squatting and staring out towards Lake Ontario. (Photo courtesy of Graciela Gomez - her ex-grandmother).

HOLLYWOOD - One of the best kept secrets in Tinsel Town has just been revealed. Selena Gomez will be the new Hannah Montana when Miley Cyrus quits her role as the singing teen later this season.

Miley said that she is quitting the show because she wants to concentrate on other things such as partying, making movies, commercials, public service announcements, and getting a recurring role on Two and A Half Men as young Jake's quasi-promiscuous girlfriend, Anna Wyoming.

Miley says that she has wanted to star in America's number one situation comedy ever since she was 11.

She said that her father Billy Ray Cyrus told her that he did not want her anywhere near Charlie Sheen.

When Selena Gomez heard that Miley was going to be leaving Hannah Montana she had her agent call up the Disney Channel and let them know that she would be willing to take over the role of the teenage singer.

Gomez informed the shows producer Crandall Chillwick that she would agree to take a 10% cut in pay, a smaller dressing room, and he would not have to provide her with M&M's with the red ones removed as he had to do for the little diva slash prima donna Miley.

Selena told Chillwick that she wanted the role so much, that she would be willing to agree to work 14 hours a day without stopping to eat, rest, or take a pee break.

She also stated that unlike Miley she will not throw any tantrum fits, yell at the other actors, or even spit at the cameraman.

Selena said that the only thing she asked was that she did not want makeup artist Penelope Pamela Beakerduck, a self-professed lesbian, touching her inappropriately like she had read in a national tabloid she had done to Miley.

Crandall Chillwick agreed and signed Selena to a three year contract which also calls for her to star in at least three movies, the first which will be Hannah Montana - The Intimate Tattoos.

To learn more about Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez go to www.17yearoldprimadonnadivas.now

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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