Written by P.M. Wortham
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Thursday, 18 February 2010

image for Yoko Ono Performs in Brooklyn, Screeching Cats Join Finale
One pissed off cat screeching with Yoko.

Helping to launch a charity concert event at the Brooklyn Academy of Music, the Plastic Ono Band performed a single set of their not-so-greatest hits to open the show, while an open stage door apparently allowed every alley cat in a 3 block radius to join the vocals.

Concert promoter Tone Def Loke tells reporters, "Yoko remains a dedicated musician with a unique interpretive vocal style that haunts the soul". Attendees at the benefit tended to describe Ono's performance a different way, often involving adjectives like "abrasive, numbing, and painful".

The benefit lasted a mere 70 minutes, while the Ono band took the stage one final time to close the show. Before the first verse of the finale was over, cats reportedly flooded the stage in an apparent attempt to join the shrill tones coming from Ono's microphone. Attendees privately commented that the cats seemed to carry a better tune.

When asked if the performance might negatively affect the amount of their donations, some at the concert just giggled. One man commented, "I expect poor John rolls over in his grave every time she steps up to the mic."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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