Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Music, Brit Awards

Wednesday, 17 February 2010

image for Florence And The Machine Second Album Release Brought Forward
Florence - Goosed From Behind

In order to cash in on their Brit Award winning album, 'Lungs' Florence And The Machine are to bring forward the release of their eagerly awaited new album, which execs hope to have hitting the streets by next Monday.

Inside sources tell us that the album, 'Kidneys' is a Club/R&B/Hip-Hop/Trip-Hop/House/Garage/Jazz/Gospel/Grunge/Pop/Rock/Indie/World/Fusion/Crossover with 16 tracks and that it will include a free ginger wig with the Limited Collector's Edition.

Those lucky enough to have previewed the 'Kidneys' album say that ginger-nut Florence Welsh is in inspired form, and that the title track, 'Kidneys' is a surefire chart topper, with such devastating lines as:

"You make my kidneys vibrate
Must have been something I ate
Let's have a kebab mate"

Other tracks include a cover version of the Liverpool Football Team's club classic 'Anfield Rap' and a hastily penned tribute to the late fashion-designer and suicidee Alexander McQueen entitled 'Look what You Went And Did In My Wardrobe'

Sources also tell us that there are two instrumental tracks on the album, 'Theme From The Bill' and 'Coronation Street The Remix.'

Our own personal favourite is the poignant love ballad 'I Love You So Fucking Much I Think I'm Gonna Puke My Guts Up'

'Kidneys' should be available from Monday. All being well.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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