Written by Aisubeki Akiudo
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Wednesday, 17 February 2010

image for Cheryl Cole Drenches Dutch Dancer In Diarrhea

Pop's favourite poop princess, Cheryl Cole stole the show at last night's Brit Awards. Not only did she win the prize 'The Most Achieved With The Least Talent' awards, but she dazzled the audience by shitting over a dancer while singing her latest hit.

"It was a real suprise", revealed Vincent Von Vulva, Cheryl's lead dancer and serial bum-bandit.

"During my career I've been covered in glitter, soaked on foam, dipped in champagne, but NEVER soaked in Geordie Shit Soup", he added.

eBayer have gone wild since the poo-spraying act, with Von Vulva putting his crap-stained leather hotpants on for auction.

Bids have reached £172.87 as of this morning with a Buy-it-now option still availible at a snip - £9999.99 plus P&P.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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