Written by Skoob1999
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Monday, 15 February 2010

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Love Me Love My Dog - But Not Literally.

Budding legend of the silver screen, Robert Pattinson 23, who plays Edward Cullen the vampire in the Twilight movie series was today, a little hacked off by scandal mongering press 'vampires' who continually take his off-the-cuff remarks out of context and blow them up out of all proportion into something they were never intended to be.

The latest incident refers to a casual remark made by the star that he was in love with his pet pooch, West Highland Terrier, Patty.

In a shock twist, the remark was reported in some unregulated European magazines that Pattinson was a bestiality freak, who preferred having sex with his dog to having sex with a lady.

Showing remarkable restraint, given the circumstances, Robert Pattinson simply pooh-poohed the claims, dismissing them as idiotic examples of lazy journalism, like the stories linking Twilight co-star Kristen Stewart with a Shetland pony.

Fellow Twilight star Taylor Lautner also slammed lazy journalists for linking Kristen Stewart with a leading role in a proposed movie project featuring Stretch Armstrong.

"That wasn't Kristen, it was me. I think," he said.

More when the medication kicks in.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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