Written by Skoob1999
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Monday, 15 February 2010

image for Kristen Stewart Gets Green Light From Rob Pattinson Over New Movie Project
Son Of Stretch Yesterday

Kristen Stewart has proved beyond all doubt that there is life after the Twilight franchise as she entered into discussions to play the leading role in a proposed new movie based around 1970's kids' action figure 'Stretch Armstrong.'

Miss Stewart's very good friend Robert Pattinson has reportedly been very supportive of her attempts to branch out into other projects, and has been seen with her attending production meetings and drinking coffee in Starbucks.

It has been suggested that Miss Stewart will play the love interest in the upcoming movie, but by her own admission, she doesn't know a great deal about Stretch Armstrong. Our own research has revealed that Stretch was a plastic action figure, filled with some kind of viscose fluid which enabled the figure to be physically stretched, a bit like Elastic Man.

Fans expecting any degree of adult oriented content in the new Stretch Armstrong movie are likely to be disappointed, because the original Stretch toy was possessed only of a smooth unblemished groin, with no penis or testicles, rather like Action Man. Producers are hoping that the defficiency will not prevent viewers from suspending disbelief and allowing that Stretch may well be capable of romantic love.

But no hard core pornographic stuff. Which is nigh on impossible without a cock.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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