Written by Harry Porter
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Tuesday, 26 October 2004

image for 400 Tons of Extras in Deluxe Fahrenheit 9/11 DVD
The Collector's' Edition - on sale soon.

A special collector's edition of the Michael Moore classic movie Fahrenheit 9/11 goes on sale this week aimed at the lucrative Christmas market.

The bumper triple-disc, limited edition, box set is packed with a mass of special features, extending the length of the viewing experience from a mere 90 minutes to an incredible 36 hours.

And while a red-faced Bush administration is still waiting for an explanation from flummoxed military leaders over how 400 tons of powerful explosives sneaked out of Iraq, it seems film-maker Michael Moore has the answer.

A string of interviews with high school students reveals how they have been buying everything from bullets to anti-aircraft missiles on eBay from sub-contractors working near the Al-Qaqaa storage arsenal, 30 miles south of Baghdad.

Moore actually seems lost for words as one student, 17-year-old Ritchie Kronski from Colorado, admits that he spent nearly a quarter of his college fund on 12,000 rounds of machine gun bullets, 200 hand grenades, 60 anti-tank shells, 40 anti-personnel mines and two Scud missiles.

"It's for a bit of fun at school," Ritchie tells Moore. "All the kids are doing it.

"I'm small beer compared to what some of the guys have got."

So, thankfully, far from falling into the hands of anti-Western forces, it seems most of the 400 tons of lethal weaponry is actually in safe hands back in the States.

The DVD also features a bizarre encounter with the much-maligned single mum and army reservist Lynndie England.

Private England is one of seven members of a Maryland-based military police company charged in an Iraqi prisoner abuse scandal.

While reluctant to talk of her experiences at the Abu Ghraib jail, Lynndie tells Moore that her ambition is to be a nightclub singer and gives an unaccompanied, and quite remarkable, performance of ‘The Chattanooga Choo-Choo' while tap dancing.

Moore is visibly moved as tears roll down Lynndie's cheeks as she sings the touching lines ‘Dinner in the diner, nothing could be finer than to have ham n' eggs in Carolina'.

Disc Three also contains a 60-minute feature on Moore endeavoring to secure an interview with the Christian fundamentalist politician Tony Blair, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom.

In one hilarious scene, Moore arrives at the Prime Minister's country residence, Chequers, to demand an interview and the film crew spots the New Labour leader leaving by a rear window and running off through the woods.

‘Fahrenheit 9/11 - The Shock and Awe Collector's Edition', is available through www.amazon.com, priced $36.95, on Region 2 only.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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