Written by Earl Grey
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Saturday, 13 February 2010

image for Brand And Perry: Will It Work?
Jo Brand earlier today

The relationship which has been the talk of Neasden continues to fill the pages of Exchange and Mart. But will Jo Brand and Fred Perry stay together? The pair are no strangers to controversy. Brand is known for her loud mouth, sexual innuendo and bird's nest hair. Perry is known for his daring outfits, raunchy videos and for winning Wimbledon. Is this chemistry enough?

Celebrity relationship expert Sir David Attenborough said "If you take either out of their normal habitat problems arise. Brand is a predator, used to the plains of the Serengeti public house. Perry is a far quieter animal, rarely venturing outside SW19. I fear that such a relationship may end in disaster."

Despite such a warning the pair remain infatuated with each other. Perry recently wore a special outfit on court in honour of his love. He designed the outfit himself. A nicotine stain pattern with pint pot motif, the outfit upset the tournament referee.

One thing is certain. The people of Neasden can't get enough news about Brand and Perry.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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