Written by Bureau
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Saturday, 13 February 2010

image for Kirstie Alley Runs Naked Through Central Park
"Did You See That?"

Kirstie Alley says she is sick and tired of reporters following her around to take pics for tabloids and publish their latest fat story, so she had finally had enough and ran naked through Central Park yesterday, nearly catching pneumonia.

"I-I-I'm h-hoping t-that will d-do it." stated a very cold Kirstie while being wrapped in a blanket."

Apparently she had the idea that if she could do the most stupid and revealing thing she could think of, the press would then leave her alone.

As you can see, it didn't work.

"If this don't work, I'm letting it all hang out and I don't care. I can't lose weight but I can lose self esteem. I've been in counseling and it didn't work, no diets work so now I'm going to go visit Aretha Franklin or John Goodman or whomever and see how they can live with themselves", Kirstie told our Dan Hilliard, a hearty 300-pounder himself.

"I'm giving you this because I see you have a problem also."

So that's the latest from the fat lady. I'm Dan Hilliard, Big Ass Reporter from Up2.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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