Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 12 February 2010

image for John Mayer Says He Is Sorry For Using The "N" Word
The historic Hurricane Watchers Arena in downtown Pascagoula, Mississippi.

NASHVILLE, Tennessee- Blues singer John Mayer took the opportunity to clear the air by apologizing on stage at his Nashville concert.

Mayer expressed his regret for a remark he made in a recent Playboy Magazine interview about something he said while performing at a non-sold-out concert in Pascagoula, Mississippi.

John said that he got carried away in an interview with the magazine's senior writer Stephanie Bapgrate. He stated that Bapgrate asked him about the horrible reception he had received just two weeks before when he had played at The Hurricane Watchers Arena in Pascagoula, Mississippi.

Thirty-two-year-old Mayer, who has dated Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Aniston, and Condoleezza Rice had remarked to the Mississippi crowd that they had taken the arena's standard two drink minimum rule and irresponsibly extended it to a ten drink minimum rule.

He went on to say that he had never seen so many drunken folks in one place. He also remarked that the ladies looked pathetic dressed in their little Daisy Duke short shorts and super short miniskirts with their 'I Love Dixie' and 'The South Shall Rise Again' cheap-looking tattoos on their upper thighs."

Mayer cut the concert short and was literally booed off the stage. He returned to make one last statement. He took the mic and told the audience that he will 'never' again play in Pascagoula or Mississippi or even in the next state over, Alabama.

The crowd booed even louder and started tossing things up on stage that included empty bottles of Southern Comfort, Dixie cups (athletic type), Confederate coins, boxes of Granny Gretchen's Grits, and half-eaten southern fried chicken wings.

As he turned to walk off stage, he kept yelling the "N" word, "Never! never! never!"

The next day, while performing at a sold-out concert in Arkansas, at Little Rock's Hey Y'all Listen Up Auditorium a teary-eyed Mayer apologized to the audience for his inexcusable outburst. He told the crowd of 6,000 including about 4,800 cousins that he regretted using the "N" word at his Pascagoula, Mississippi, concert.

He went on to say that he will never again use the word "Never." The crowd cheered as he wiped the tears out of his eyes with his guitar pick.

Mayer then went on to perform the cover version of the old classic by the Chordettes, "Never On Sunday."

In weather news. There is so much snow in the nation's East Coast that most police departments are prohibiting the making of snowmen. Kids in Baltimore are reportedly getting around this mandate by making snowtransexuals.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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