CHICAGO - Lady Gaga finished performing a sold out concert at Chicago's How About Dem Cubs Convention Center and headed out to O'Hare Airport for her flight to her next concert performance at The Willie Nelson Smoking Is Allowed Auditorium in Austin, Texas.
Miss Gaga was put through the airport's full body scanner image machine, the iTell 7,000. And although it was revealed that she had no concealed weapons, hidden drugs, or unpurchased magazines, it did show a small groin appendage that was shown on the airport jumbo tron which airport agents noted was either a little male (blank) or just a big female (blank).
[EDITOR'S NOTE: In the interest of bringing you clear, concise, and exact information, the first blank is a two syllable word which begins with a W and rhymes with the word 'meaner' and the second blank is a three-syllable word which begins with a C and rhymes with the word 'temptress.']
Lady Gaga was allowed to continue to her boarding gate since as the airport's chief security director, Brockton Casserole pointed out. "We at O'Hare are not in the least bit concerned with what religious affiliation, political party, gender genitalia, or breakfast habits any of our passengers may possess. All we want is for everyone to, in the words of Dionne Warwick, just walk on by."
SIDENOTE: Airport employees who work with the iTell 7,000 are prohibited from laughing, giggling, or pointing at any of the naked body scanner image photos. Any employee violating this rule can be fined up to $90, imprisoned for up to four days, and be permanently terminated.