Written by Abel Rodriguez
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Sunday, 7 February 2010

image for Super Bowl Lesbian Deodorant Commercial Pulled At The Last Minute
Willow Swallowcutt one of the two lesbian actresses in the Holland Dyke Lesbian Deodorant commercial.

MIAMI - The NFL Super Bowl Rules and Regulations For TV Commercials Committee has decided not to televise the commercial for Holland Dyke Lesbian Deodorant.

A spokesperson for the TV commercials committee said that they had decided that the 30 second spot would have caused a tremendous uproar.

They went on to say that millions of viewers would have stopped watching the game due to the fact that everyone would be calling, texting, and emailing their friends and relatives and asking if they had just seen the amazingly unbelievable lesbian commercial.

A representative for Holland Dyke Lesbian Deodorant could not be reached for a comment.

The media was able to contact Lorrie Burgensetti, 29, CEO of The Left Coast Unique Commercial Agency who was responsible for the writing, producing, filming, and presentation of the commercial.

Miss Burgensetti stated that the deodorant commercial had been approved by various regulatory agencies including The Council For Sexually Suggestive TV Ads in America, The Continental Divide Sex Acts Commercial Coalition, and The National Alliance For Truth and Realism In Televised Lesbian Commercials.

She said that a vice-president of marketing and sales for The Continental Divide Sex Acts Commercial Coalition, Sarah Wafflewheat, (38-24-36) even stated that the lesbian deodorant commercial was one of the best deodorant commercials she had ever seen.

She confessed that after viewing the commercial draft in her office she went out and bought two roll on containers of Holland Dyke Lesbian Deodorant on her way home that evening.

Wafflewheat was quick to point out that she is not a lesbian; although she has had thoughts about kissing another woman, but she stressed that she has never really dabbled in full-fledged bikini burger bumping per se.

The consumer watchdog agency known as We See U which is based in Hackensack, New Jersey stated that they would boycott the Super Bowl if the commercial was allowed to be televised.

Tammy Tipplecake, a spokesperson for We See U stated that they did not think that it was proper to show two sexy-as-hell young, nubile, white, blonde women applying Holland Dyke Lesbian Deodorant to each others underarms and then taking off all of their clothes, underwear, and knee-high boots, and going into their backyard and playing leap frog in the snow.

Tipplecake said that what kind of message would they be sending to the young women and young girls of America and the world by showing two naked women playing leap frog while it is actually snowing.

She noted that not only is this unsanitary, unrealistic, and unnerving, it is also dangerous as well. She pointed out that because of the fact that the two women's hoo-ha's were exposed to below freezing weather they could very well develop frostbite on their exposed tuzzie muzzies and this could lead to a needless trip to the emergency room.

The NFL Super Bowl Rules and Regulations For TV Commercials Committee stated that they stand by their decision and if The Holland Dyke Lesbian Deodorant Company or The Left Coast Unique Commercial Agency want to file a complaint then they can do so by writing to NFL Souvenirs, Intercourse, Pennsylvania.

In related Super Bowl news. Kanye West is reportedly so mad at being banned from attending the Super Bowl that he is going to go to the nearest karaoke bar and take the karaoke singers microphone away. He then added that just as long as it is a skinny little white girl and not some big old rough redneck white dude who could possibly put a hellacious hurt on his arrogant black ass.

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 5?

9 25 21 11

Go to top