Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 7 February 2010

image for American Idol's The Dallas Dominatrix and Bikini Boy To Perform At The Super Bowl Before The Who
The Dallas Dominatrix will perform with Bikini Boy prior to The Who's Performance.

MIAMI - The director of the Super Bowl Half Time Festivities, Delvin Zavatini, has just announced that due to the fact that Taylor Swift has backed out of her scheduled performance he has had to make a quick last minute change in the musical show.

Zavatini said that he received a text message from Taylor Swift informing him that she is still quite traumatized from the horrible duet with Stevie Nicks at the Grammy Award Show.

She expressed to him that she is so afraid that she will end up hitting 34 more bad notes, but instead of being in front of 100 million people it would be in front of a world wide Super Bowl audience of 4 billion.

Zavatini said that Swift told him that each time she thinks about it she throws up. He told her that he understood and that he wants her to return the ten free 50 yard line tickets that he had given her.

She reportedly told him that she has already sold them. He told her to get the mother effers back or risk being sued by the NFL, CBS, PETA, AARP, the BBC, and IUD.

Zavatini informed the press media that in Taylor Swift's place he has booked two of the nation's hottest American Idol contestants, The Dallas Dominatrix and Bikini Boy.

Erica Rhodes, aka The Dallas Dominatrix will perform wearing her black leather teddy, her black Nazi boots, her black leather whip, and no panties.

Ty Hemmerling will perform wearing his American Idol two-piece purple, orange, and pink bikini swimsuit that is two sizes too small.

The Dallas Dominatrix and Bikini Boy will perform two songs. Their first song will be by Rihanna entitled, "Rehab" and their second song will be by Amy Winehouse entitled, "Rehab."

Zavatini was asked if it wasn't somewhat unusual for musical performers to perform two different songs with the same name.

Zavatini thought about it for a few seconds and replied that he hadn't really given it much thought since he has been very busy dealing with the Pete Townsend illegal viewing of naked polygamist photos controversy to spend his time worrying about such trivial things as the titles of songs.

In a related story. Iran, Iraq, and Borneo have all stated that they will not carry the Super Bowl this year like they have in year's past. Iran will instead show the Kermanshah Derby Camel Races, Iraq will televise reruns of Cooking Desert Desserts With Mustafa, and Borneo will televise last year's sensationally explicit and highly viewed mini-series, The Eating Habits of The Borneo River Cannibals.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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