HOLLYWOOD - It has just been announced that the Simpson sisters, Jessica and Ashlee will be starring in a situation comedy with their father Joe Simpson.
Spokesperson, Tully Figgsticker stated that the show which will be set in Dallas is called Pops And The Lip Syncers.
Figgsticker stated that Joe Simpson will portray Chad Buckholtz a divorcé, whose wife left him for another woman, a lesbian ex-member of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders.
Buckholtz who is an unemployed Fort Worth police officer moved to Dallas so that his daughters Holly (Jessica) and Lolly (Ashlee) could be closer to their dentist Dr. Elwood Farborough, who got transferred from Fort Worth to Dallas.
The two sisters Lolly and Holly ages 32 and 28, are constantly singing in the shower, in their backyard tree house, in church, and in their dentist's waiting room.
The Buckholtz sisters sadly are horrible singers. They are constantly out of tune, they're flat (but not in the tits department where both are D-cups), and they are forever forgetting the words.
The only thing that both girls have going for them is their looks. Both girls have knock-out looks and could be models or even movie stars.
One day they decide to put on their tightest smallest tank tops and tightest shortest short shorts and go down to the neighborhood karaoke club Buff's Karaoke Bar & Grill.
The place used to be a strip club called Buff's Buff Bitches. Holly and Lolly get up and sing the old Nancy Sinatra song "These Boots Are Made For Walking."
Well needless to say they sound horrible, hell worse than horrible. But no one boos them. Of course, since it is karaoke, no one ever really boos anyway, but these girls are the worst of the worst.
They of course think that they are good, real good. Because after they finish singing the guys in the crowd go crazy and clap like hell because of the fact that as bad as they are at singing, they are great lookers and each sister has a fine looking pair of maracas and a gorgeous looking pair of buns.
The two soon become the most popular karaoke singers in the history of Buff's Karaoke Bar & Grill. And before too long they become the most popular karaoke singers in all of Dallas.
Simon Cowell discovers the girls and signs them to a contract. He knows that the girls are probably the lousiest singers on both sides of the Atlantic, but he knows that they will be successful because of their astounding looks.
He works out a plan where their father will travel with them as their manager. The deal is that they will lip sync all of the songs in their concerts.
Cowell says that no one will know because he will see to it that the concert stage where they are performing is very dimly lit where no one will actually see their mouths up close.
Cowell noted that even the band members will not know that the girls are not really singing. The show is set to start production on April 1, 2010.
In other news. Lou Dobbs was recently seen at a local Jack-in-the-Box eating an Ultimate Cheesburger and mumbling to himself "I am still someone, I am still someone, I am still someone, por favor, I'm sorry about the damn wall, I am still someone."