Written by Erskin Quint
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Saturday, 6 February 2010

image for Kurt Cobain "Stole" Teen Spirit Tune from Indians
Blind Lemon Jefferson in Impoverished Obscurity Yesterday

Legendary grungemeister Kurt Cobain's estate may have to cough up MILLIONS if a judge judges that Washington State's most famous export Nirvana has RIPPED OFF a traditional Spokane Indian battle song.

Nirvana fans - typically drawn from disaffected rebellious teenagers - have always identified with the band's outsider image. But now there's a distinct possibility this could be revealed as a "sham and a cynical exercise in commercial opportunism so typical of the White Hegemony's rewriting of American History", claimed the author of the lawsuit, Spokane Indian spokesman Gary "Hates Basketball" Spokaneman at his Spokane, Washington home yesterday.

"We are confident that a little justice might be done here", Wiseman told us yesterday. "We hope to show that Teen Spirit's chorus replicates material from the traditional battle hymn 'Dream Song of Eagle and Thunder' that our ancestors chanted during tribal wars."

A successful lawsuit would mean that years of royalties would be owing - "we will ask for SIXTY PER CENT of royalties earned", Spokane, Washington Spokane Indian spokesman Gary "Hates Basketball" Spokaneman said yesterday.

The lawsuit comes hot on the heels of an Australian court's ruling that Men at Work's global hit Down Under had copied its flute riff from kids' campfire singalong Kookaburra Sits In The Old Gum Tree.

And sources in London yesterday were claiming that punk band The Sex Pistols could face litigation from Boy Scout and Brownie groups, since apparently many of their "tunes" might be based on the kind of "ging gang goolie"-style ditties lead singer Johnny Rotten and doomed bassist Sid Vicious enjoyed when they were in the Scouts.

"All this will cause major panic in the Rock Business", said a music industry source yesterday. "There's already talk of lawsuits against the likes of Elvis Presley, The Rolling Stones and Michael Jackson, in view of the long-held resentment among Black Musicians that their work has been appropriated by these global superstars in order to generate astronomical incomes, while they are left in impoverished obscurity."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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