Written by Skoob1999
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Friday, 5 February 2010

image for Vanessa Perroncel - Who was the Number Five?
Bridge Of Sighs, Sex And Lies.

Whoever the elusive number five may be in the ongoing Vanessa Perroncel sex scandal, he is most certainly the most sought after individual in the UK. The problem is that he's keeping a low profile, and those in the know are refusing to blow the whistle.

One thing is for sure though, number five is certainly not Ron 'Chopper' Harris, the tough tackling Chelsea icon of the 60's and 70's, who was so hard that he made Vinnie Jones look like hamster by comparison.

Chopper told me that he's more settled now than he was in his playing days and that he didn't give a toss if he had a wild man image or not. These days he'd much rather settle down with a good book and a nice cup of tea than get involved in all of that new-fangled roasting malarkey.

Other ex'Chelsea icons such as Mark Hughes, Gianfranco Zola, Ruud Gullit and Peter Osgood all emphatically deny being the elusive Number Five.

On the same subject, several ill informed articles have surfaced on the internet, pointing the finger at Joe and Ashley Cole for 'acting shady', but these reports are unfounded. The only thing which could be considered shady about Joe and Ashley Cole's behaviour would arise if they weren't acting shady.

All of which must come as a massive relief to Portsmouth boss Avram Grant, the former Chelsea manager having been grilled by the redtops over allegations that he regularly visited a Southampton brothel.

But his story has been very much eclipsed by the John Terry/Vanessa Perroncel outrage.

More as we make it up.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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