Written by Skoob1999
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Thursday, 4 February 2010

image for Toni Terry WAGs It Up In Dubai
"Hey Missy! Wanna Buy Some Condoms?"

Friends of Toni Terry, the wife of sex scandal plagued Chelsea and England captain John, who has allegedly been putting it about a bit, say that Mrs Terry appears relaxed and happy in Dubai as she contemplates where her marriage goes from here.

I was told that Toni has been gritting her teeth and getting on with life in the traditional wag way that wags the world over excel in - shopping.

It seems that there's nothing quite like intensive shopping for dealing with a marital break-up, and it certainly seems to be working to Toni's advantage in the sun-kissed gulf state.

"Toni's shopping like a good un," a close friend told me. "The way she crashes through those designer stores makes it difficult to believe that the eyes of the world are on her, and millions of people wait with bated breath to see whether she'll take John back or not. We're all really proud of her. All these silly people who complain that there are more important things happening in the world - like earthquakes, nuclear arms races, climate change conspiracies and cars whose accelerators stick - are talking out of their hats. If they want to see real courage, they need look no further than this immensely brave woman who shops with a determination the like of which I've never witnessed."

A British soldier serving in Helmand province, Afghanistan, told me:

"Some of the lads have had a bit of a laugh about it, especially the ones who hate Chelsea. But overall, we're not that bovvered. We got trivial stuff to consider, like IED's and Taleban trigger men."

More as we dream it up.

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