Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 3 February 2010

image for Dancing On Ice: Heather Mills Reveals She's Had 392 Marriage Proposals
McCartney told Heather he has written a song about her. It's called "The Ballad of The Dancing On Ice Princess."

LONDON - This years Dancing On Ice skating marvel is Heather Mills. The former wife of Sir Paul McCartney is accomplishing what many people with two good legs cannot do.

Mills has shown the doubters that one can do pretty much anything that one wants just as long as one has the determination, the stamina, the drive, and £24.3 million [$37.7 million U.S.] to purchase the best prosthesis leg in the entire world.

Heather was glowing with pride when she revealed that just since Saturday, she has had 392 marriage proposals. She said that some were from doctors, attorneys, footballers, and one from Keith Richards.

She said that all of them commented on how great she looked in her white tight skating short shorts. Mills then added that she is not one to pat herself on her back but stated that the 'proposer's' used words to describe her such as stunning, ravishing, sensuous, tantalizing, luscious, and her favorite titillating.

Mills said that she is in no hurry to get married and knows that chances are pretty good that out of those 392 marriage proposals 391 were because of her money.

She added that she knows that Keith would not be after her money, because he probably has just as much if not more.

In other news. The French government knowing that Iran is finalizing plans to invade their country has emailed the Iranian Prime Minister and asked him to invade Greece instead, since they are, after all, a whole lot closer.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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