I have fabricated reports that former Girls Aloud singer, Black Eyed Peas supporting act, and soccer wife, Cheryl Cole has declined approaches from fellow WAGS to represent them at times of controversy and sex scandal exposees.
As the alleged John Terry/Toni Terry/Wayne Bridge/Vanessa Perroncel alleged love rectangle scandal allegedly gathers even further alleged momentum, a group of soccer WAGS are believed to have asked wor Cheryl to assume the mantle of PR Rep on their behalf.
"We approached Cheryl because she's comfortable in the media spotlight," a WAG told me. "Plus, to be honest, a good many of our number struggle to string three words together. The bottom line is that most of us are only talented at shopping, being roasted, and going to beauty shops. We just need an eloquent voice to speak up on our behalf from time to time."
I couldn't get in touch with wor Cheryl myself, mainly because I didn't try, but a close personal friend (at least he told me he was a personal friend, although his general demeanour and smell left me feeling a little dubious) informed me that it was highly doubtful that wor Cheryl would assume such a mantle.
It seems Cheryl is making a concerted attempt to withdraw from the limelight in order to concentrate on rehearsals for her upcoming Black Eyed Peas supporting act slot.
And on promoting her new single, 'Parachute' which is out this week.
More as we pull it out of the ether.