Written by Xinix Xaxx
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Friday, 29 January 2010

In a surprising announcement, the Nobel committee confirmed that Patrick Starr, the character actor made famous by his role on Spongebob Squarepants, will receive the Nobel prize for literature. Patrick Starr is the Author of the novel "Undersea."

Patrick Starr always wanted to write, he got into acting to pay the bills. He first stared in a commercial for toilet paper, playing a character too stupid to know that the advertised brand was softer than the cactus he'd been using.

Patrick was called back to play the character a second time in another commercial for the toilet paper, then called to play his "Stupid Star" character in a series of paper towel ads that aired during football games.

Patrick's deep voice, ability to drool on command and vacant looking eyes made him the perfect actor for the role of someone brainless, happy or unable to cope with daily life. He landed a role on The Simpsons as an extra in line at the DMV, grabbed a place on Saturday Night Live for two seasons and then showed up for the audition for Spongebob. The rest is history. We all know him now!

Patrick always wanted top write and he never stopped writing. He'd write a novel a month, submitting them regularly, but not hearing anything about any of them until he wrote "Undersea."

His first blockbuster novel about the life of several sub-mariners struggling to stay alive after their submarine sunk, was moving, terrifying, funny and touching. He was able to capture the feelings of the trapped sailors in a way that assured him a best seller, but nobody expected his first big seller to also garner this honor. His 1,482 page masterpiece took him from unknown author to the global community.

"Undersea" is currently in production in twenty seven languages for people all over the world.

Patrick says he will still appear on Spongebob, even though he's made it to his dream.

"I like playing Patrick on the show." He says. "Partick is so simple, honest and likable. I'd think about hanging out with him."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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