Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 29 January 2010

image for The Who May Perform At The Super Bowl Without Guitarist Pete Townsend
A photo of the Buffalo Bills who finished 6-10 and will not be appearing in the Super Bowl.

MIAMI - Word coming out of Miami, Florida is that there is some genuine concern that the half time extravaganza, featuring The Who, and which in the past has included such great recording artists as Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, Donnie and Marie Osmond, Menudo, and The Beatles, will quite possibly go on without Pete Townsend.

It appears that some years ago Townsend was caught viewing photos of nude polygamists on the Internet. Townsend denied it and he was never really charged with a crime, but he has had to register as a multiple sex partner picture viewer.

Townsend said that he only did it once and it was accidental as he was really looking for photos of naked philanderers and he hit the naked polygamist icon by mistake.

He added that a few hours later when he realized it, he quickly exited the site and went on to a site all about his patented 'windmill guitar stroke' no pun intended or even remotedly suggested except for on the West Coast.

Townsend's barrister (lawyer) the ever so proper and highly esteemed Sir Jonathan St. Wallasea, 79, of Chiswick has stated that his client did nothing wrong.

St. Wallasea went on to add that if everyone in St. John's Wood, where Townsend resides were to be made to register as a multiple sex partner picture viewer the line would stretch from Buckingham Palace to a Mickey D's Restaurant three blocks away.

Meanwhile a Miami based group calling itself, Floridians For Flouride But Against Polygamy, has emphatically stated that they do not want to see Mr. Townsend appear on the Super Bowl stage, where he will be seen by billions of people throughout the world.

FFFBAP went on to say that if Mr. Townsend is allowed to perform they will remove all of their clothing and rush the stage showing non-permanent tattoos with such wording as 'Just Say No To Ho Ho Ho's,' 'Okay Viewing Ain't Screwing, But It's Close,' and 'If A Man Has Six Wives And No One Knows It, Is He Still One Lucky, Happy, Friggin Son-of-a-Bitch?"

Hughmont McInvicta, the director of the Super Bowl Half Time Gala, has stated that if the members of FFFBAP do decide to rush the stage in a state of nakedness, he will have no recourse but to instruct his security detachment to taser the hell out of the lawless bunch.

McInvicta did stress that the performance will be shown on a seven second delay, in order for parents at home to cover up the eyes of any small children, senior citizens, or immature adults that may be watching the festivities where the FFFBAP members get their wieners and yeast mills jolted with 50,000 volts of taser fury.

In related news. The British trio known as X-Factory, comprised of Danyl Johnson, Olly Murs, and Lloyd Daniels, has emailed Mr. McInvicta with an offer to play in the place of The Who for $400 plus expenses.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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