It was revealed today that TV star Pebbles Flintstone has given birth to a son. Pebbles is doing well, recovering nicely after birthing a boy who weighed one full stone at birth.
"He's perfect," Pebbles said. "I can't believe how big he was when he was born, but the doctors and nurses got us through it and I couldn't be happier."
Pebbles's son, who has been named Coalman Francis Flintstone, was in the nursery sleeping when this reporter saw him. He had a shock of his mother's red hair and what appeared to be a small elephant in his diaper. The nurses assured me it was supposed to be there, he had just been cleaned and changed. It was obvious why the baby had weighed so much at birth and how the doctor had known he was a boy before his little red-haired head was born.
Pebbles has named the father as well. The tests were performed, but she claimed to have known who the father was as soon as she saw the baby.
"He looks just like his father, from top to bottom. He even has Daddy's feet and…Other parts," Pebbles claims.
When the tests came back, we were informed, by Pebbles, who the official tests named Dad. She read the form out loud to us; it was mostly medical jargon difficult for anyone but a doctor to understand. Pebbles paused dramatically when she reached the name of the father.
"And, with no uncertainty, the father of the child of Pebbles Flintstone is Amos "Bad Luck" Schleprock."
Bamm Bamm Rubble refuses to believe this; his religious upbringing teaches it is not possible for modern medicine to determine whose spirits mixed to make a baby. He said he loves Pebbles very much and still wants to marry her if she will have him.
When informed of the test results, Schleprock said "Wowsie wowsie woo-woo." and wandered away. It is not known at this time how much of a part he will play in his son's life, if any at all.