Written by Charlie Van Horn
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Topics: California, Divorce

Tuesday, 12 October 2004

San Diego, California (SP) -- Rockers Daryl Hall and John Oates have announced they are 'Gay Divorcing'.

Artist representatives for both sides say they have reached an amicable agreement. Hall, in an interview in US Weekly, said that "Although he cares deeply for John, he would never actually have homosexual relations with him, so it was a decision they reached together".

'Gay Divorce' is the new legal term for two men who are in close contact, but want it publically known that they do not engage in sodomy.

Matt Damon and Ben Affleck were 'Gay Divorced' in 1998 in their home state of Massachusetts. However, laws at the time did not officially recognize the un-union in any other state.

Advocates for gay rights say that 'Gay Divorce' is a pathetic way for hiding men showing affection in public. Others, like Siegfried and Roy, say it is a positive step in the right direction to encourage men to take on non-sexual 'life partners'

"Ever since Roy had his head bitten off by the kitty, ya, he not the best to snuggle up with" Siegfried said last month in an interview with ABC TV's Barbara Walters. "He's gotten all these tubes and these wires poking out of him, not very sexy at all, ya"

Siegfried claims that due to Roy being unable to perform, he may seek another partner to, as he put it, "play with the furry pussy, ya"

'Gay Divorce' may become a deciding issue in politics this November. Students at a high school in San Diego held a 'Gay Divorce' rally last October, and plan to hold one again this year.

Knox High School board member Frank 'RW' Mayfile, calls the act an excuse for students to skip school and commit acts of a non-sexual nature.

"It would be different if it were something like, 'Be Gay Day' or 'Do Me I'm Queer Day', but this whole 'I'm not gay or nothing' thing scares the crap out of everyone in this community"

Daryl Hall and John Oates have a DVD concert titled "Best of MusikLaden Live", which drops November 23. They also have a PR firm which suggested 'Gay Divorce' would make somebody care about them for one last moment before one of them dies.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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