Written by Mike Hutchinson
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Wednesday, 27 January 2010

Following the widely reported cuts in the GMTV budget (it's estimated that the quality of research on the programme will drop from widely inaccurate to virtually non-existent) the babes fronting the show are becoming increasingly desperate in their efforts to garner attention from the execs wielding the axe. Starting off with a few cheeky winks and preening, the tops have become lower cut and the skirts shorter. Is it only a matter of time before the brief upskirt shots turn into full blown shameless snatch displays ? Mike Perve, who follows such matters closely, commented:- "The betting regarding who's for the chop among the pussy, I mean women, is 50/1 Emma Crosby, 20/1 Kate Garraway and 10/1 Penny Smith. Crosby is so up herself her foot's sticking out of her mouth but she's a bit of a looker. Garraway's irritating as hell but has enormous tits (even bigger after she dropped a sprog recently) and Penny Smith's a MILF past her sell-by date. I personally would have scored them solely on tit size to simplify matters and Crosby would have been out on her skinny ear. As for the male presenters, they should rate them simply by who's the biggest c**t. On that basis, John Stapleton's a shoe-in for the chop". With that, we left Mike to get back to his slow motion replays of Naga Munchetty on Working Lunch.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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