Outrage has been growing over the US cable series "Spartacus: Blood and Sand", since it was hyped, sorry reported, in the online media recently.
Descriptions such as "the most sexually expicit programme ever made", "plenty of full-frontal nudity" and "an absolute gore-fest", may never have actually been written but give the general flavour of the hoo-ha being made about the series.
Mike Perve, speaking from his Basildon bedsit and surrounded by ten assorted remote controls (and a wiimote), complained: "It's disgusting. I read on Wahoooo!!!!! that this was the most filthy TV programme ever made and there was a clear impression that we would be seeing countless images of the tits, ass and snatch of Xena, Warrior Princess. Imagine my disappointment when I downloaded the first two episodes from the Interweb and realised that the sets are laughably fake, there is digital snow which never lands on anyone, the mountains are made of cardboard, the script would shame the Teletubbies, the acting is amateurish and, worst of all, the nudity is crap, mostly in darkened rooms with hardly any pussy shots. I should have guessed the quality when the credits showed the programme to be a US, Aussie and New Zealand co-production with a few Brit thesps thrown in for good measure, but I was being optimistic and now feel let down."
We left Mike blubbing into his takeaway Chicken Tikka Massala.