CHICAGO - Ex-Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin shocked America's number one talk show host Oprah Winfrey with her new gobs and gobs of curls look.
Palin was in her Wasilla, Alaska, home and was appearing via a remote telecast.
Winfrey asked Palin, "Sey girlfriend, what da hell did ju dids to yo hair?"
Palin smiled and politely asked Winfrey to repeat the question but using English words this time.
La Winfrey remarked and said, "Okay fair enuff. Girlfriend, what da hell did ju dids to yo hair?"
"Shotgun" Palin replied, "Well alrighty then. I guess that's a little bit better, I guess."
Oprah quickly shot back, "Well excuse da effen hell outta me you little ungrateful Alaskan pale-faced presidential race loser."
"Bite me Oprah."
"Well I would, but I cain't stand da smell of reindeer meat. And another thing you white-assed old-librarian-looking tart, yor mama wears caribou skin bras and she is secretly dating an Eskimo who is in the Eskimo witness protection program."
Sarah turned as pink as an Alaskan salmon's anal region and told Oprah that she was going to refuse to get down in the mud and wallow with her like Ann Coulter would do.
Winfrey replied that at least Coulter isn't running around with a hairdo that looks like a cross between an obnoxious Shirley Temple and the Wizard of Oz's Dorothy on speed.
And on that note, Palin told Winfrey that she had to end her interview immediately because she had some other pressing business to attend to.
Oprah grinned like the Chicago cat that swallowed the Wasilla canary and asked, "Pressing business like what? Going out to the garage and polishing your hunting bullets?...or maybe trying to get the smell of gun powder out of your underwear?"
To which Palin countered with, "Well at least I'm not 60 pounds overweight and look like a black Kirstie Alley."
Oprah quickly went to a commercial.
In other news. Lindsay Lohan confessed to Larry King that one day last week she was so lonely and bored that she got completely naked and decided to count all of the freckles on her body. She said that the number was 1,493. She then smiled and said that the number probably would have been a little bit higher, but she had to stop counting when the mall security guard walked up to her and asked her to put her clothes back on.