Written by Richard DagNabbit
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Tuesday, 26 January 2010

image for Cheryl Cole Wins SeX Factor's Galaxy Class Ass Contest; Passes Kate Beckensale for Most Beautiful Woman Awards
The Electrifying Cheryl Cole with Best in Class Ass

The ever attractive and multi-talented Cheryl "Tweety" Cole has rocketed to fabulous fame and fortune time and time again over the last four years and has done it yet again, winning SeX Factor's Contest for the Best Galaxy Class Ass.

The Dynamic Diva now sits atop a mountain of accolades and awards for being "The World's Most Beautiful Woman", having the "Best Ass in Class" as well as "Legs To Die For" "Best New Vocalist" and her most recent win in "Drool Babe 2010."

All have been awarded by various international Men's magazines that showcase only the most beautiful and talented babes on earth.

Running a distant second were the older but still fabulous Kate Beckensale and Blond Bubblehead Britney "Bats in the Belfry" Spears from the states. Beckensale, now 40, simply couldn't keep up with the youthful and sexually hungry look offered up by the sleek Cheryl Cole, while Britney kept doing repeat leg-overs, flashing her hairless murf to photographers a few too many times to be cute or fun. Word has it that after popping two kids, "it just ain't the same" according to those on the set.

Ms. Cole, as a reward for being so breathtakingly beautiful, has been given Hearst Castle by Donald Trump, and she has now purchased her own Gulfstream G550 Custom Jet piloted by none other than Jet Jock Captain John Travolta. This, so she can travel in the style she deserves and still get around the world quickly for photo-shoots and operatic vocalist appearances she stars in. As a nose ornament, the G-550 sports a 100X size replica of the 22 carrot flawless rock Hubby Cole bought her for an engagement ring prior to their marriage. Reporters everywhere have been trying to get a glimpse of the fashion and music Video Diva wearing some of the many diamond rings she now possesses.

Now having it all, "what is on the busy mind of the most beautiful woman in the world", asked National Inquiry Reporter Skooby Doo, and to that she replied "After I collect on my first two or three thousand contracts, I just want to settle down and become a Top Spoof Writer for Spoof.com; I have great friends there and I know they will help me out and with all of the great writer support at Spoof.com, I can't possibly do anything but become the #1 Woman Spoof Writer to go along with all my other awards!

With that, the Too Good 2 B True and blindingly beautiful Cheryl Cole headed off to a luncheon date with the Queen to show her new line of undies and Personal Parts Perfumes.


More or Less as We Get It.


Reporting from the King's Palace of Wit, Rhyme and Reason,


Dagnabbit Rabbit

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