Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Movies, Horror

Sunday, 24 January 2010

image for Ygor Gets The Hump
The View From The M25 This Morning.

Ygor Ekaterinenbogov, star of myriad Hollywood horror movies, usually playing the part of the hunchbacked assistant to a deranged scientist, a body snatcher, or a Cathedral campanologist today expressed in no uncertain terms his deeply felt dissatisfaction with the Hollywood star system.

By going on strike.

Ygor (typing Ekaterinenbogov several times is too much to ask of an amateur hack, so we shan't be typing Ekaterinenbogov again because it's far less challenging to type Ygor than it is to keep on typing Ekaterinenbogov) anyway, Ygor has worked alongside all the greats of the horror genre: Doris Karloff, Umbrella Lugosi, Lon Bogchainey, Vincent Prince, Peter Crushing, Christopher Flea, Peter Lorry, Danny Kaye, Ethel Merman, Pee-Wee Herman, and Robert DeBiro.

But now, Ygor has stated emphatically that he is sick and tired of being exploited, overworked, underpaid, undervalued, taken the piss out of, and treated like a freak.

The Russian born actor has got the right hump.

We caught up with him as he staged a one-man picket on the sidewalk outside a major studio, carrying a placard which stated:

Enough Is Enough. I Have Got The Right Hump.
We asked him to explain the real cause of his apparent discontent.

"It's Ronnie and Reggie Bell," he told us. "My agents. Not only do they not pay me what I've rightfully earned, but they slap me around the head so often that my hearing has deteriorated to such an extent that I have difficulty taking my cues when I'm filming. It was the BELLS I tell you! IT WAS THE BELLS THAT MADE ME DEAF!"

"You're taking the piss, right?" we challenged.

"It's a fair cop guv," Ygor Ekaterinenbogov sniggered.

We shall not be wasting any further time reporting on this malodorous humpty backed bastard.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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