In a shock claim that stunned many naive people into wishing they hadn't used 'The Mona Lisa' as an example of a photogenic female, art historian Mrs. Cheryl Doleful claimed today that the portrait was actually one of a man.
'La Giaconda', she said from the Paris Institute des Amburgers et Frissants Francais, 'was painted by the scientific genius Leonardo da Vinci, who also painted 'The Last American McSupper With Fries'. But da Vinci didn't - ahem - like women at all, and 'the Mona Lisa' was a self portrait of the artist as he saw himself. Yuk!'
But another art expert Jean-Paul Gascoigne disagreed with Mrs. Doleful's claim. 'I disagree with Mrs. Doleful's claims', he disagreed, 'and here's why. Because Mrs. Doleful is just a silly wee slapper that gets into the news because she married a footballer that is one of the most overrated ones in English history.'
'If we want an analysis of da Vinci's works do we really want the opinion of some girl with no brains and knowledge of anything and only an averagely attractive chest?', and 'Oui!', came the answer from the Louvre's 3,224 staff, 3,222 of which work at the branch of McPhillistine's there.
The Mona Lisa herself had nothing to say on the subject, but merely smiled enigmatically and helped herself to another Chicken McSlurry.