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Topics: John Edwards

Friday, 22 January 2010

image for John Edwards Finally Tells Public Baby Is His

After all the gossip and possible bribes and his friend, Andrew Young falling on his own penis saying the baby was his, Senator John Edwards has admitted that he fathered a baby with mistress, Rielle Hunter.

How does John's wife, Elizabeth, feel about all this?

"Actually, I'm glad", she told reporters, including UP2's ass reporter Dan Hilliard.

Elizabeth then told them that with this big lie out of the way, her politician husband can go forward with all the little lies that go with being a Senator.

"I think that John can breathe easier now. It would have been a lot less expensive if he's done that at the first. I mean, he's a politician, you always have to give them a little leeway."

Apparently John Edwards has also learned to cut and style his own hair, so saving that $3,000 a year can help make up for a lot of the money he's paid out to keeping the fact that the child being his a secret.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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