Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 25 January 2010

image for Selena Gomez Says She's Trying To Decide Between Taylor Lautner or Nick Jonas
Selena's 1991 car, which she calls 'The Green Rocket' only has 492,351 miles.

LAKE PLACID, New York - Selena Gomez was in town to perform at the newly painted Adirondack Mountains Convention Center on the last leg of her Selena "Go-Go" Gomez East Coast Snow White Winterized and Glamorized Tons of Snow Tour.

She was asked how her love life is going. She got a glow about her face and replied that it is going great and that right now her main priority is trying to decide if she wants Taylor Lautner or Nick Jonas as her boyfriend.

Selena said that either way she comes out ahead and certainly she will be better off than Miley Cyrus, Demi Lovato, or Miranda Cosgrove.

The 17-year-old Gomez has just finished recording her latest single which is titled, "I'm A Cutey, And So's My Booty."

Gomez said that the song was written especially for her by the famed Los Angeles writing duo of Brody Daltonfix and Ella Barnblip who won a Grammy last year for their song "Tit For Tat My Tats Are Titillating."

The Grammy winning song has been recorded by Amy Winehouse, Ke$ha, Lady Antebellum, Rihanna, and Cher.

SIDENOTE: Selena wants all of her fans to know that the seven photos, which appeared in The International Enquirer, which supposedly showed her French kissing fellow teen singer Demi Lovato were photo shopped. Gomez pointed out, as all of her close friends and relatives know, that unlike the tongue in the photo, her tongue does not have any freckles.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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