Written by Nick Hobbs
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Topics: Celebrities, Love, Affair

Monday, 18 January 2010

image for Bob Timpson 'Not Ready For Love'
Celebrities Wanted. No talent required. No skills needed. Don't even need to be famous. Apply at reception.

Bob Timpson, the famous celebrity builder in Leicester, says he is not ready for love, in a sensational outburst following the split from long time girlfriend Natalie Lyle.

The celebrity, who made his name when he auditioned for Big Brother, but was refused a second interview and screen test for being too normal, was devastated when Lyle's affair hit the headlines last week.

Miss Lyle, who made her name by being the girlfriend of a man who auditioned for Big Brother, but was refused a second interview and screen test for being too normal, was unrepentant of her sexual misdemeanour. "It's my life, I'll do as I please. The media just blows it up beyond all perspective."

Snaps of Miss Lyle cavorting with Justin Beekus, the man who sensationally hit the headlines last year for not appearing in anything, were splashed all over the tabloids, and even hit the ITN News At Ten.

Sally Farber, who is filling all the hot gossip columns after her 3 second appearance in the audience of 'Family Fortunes With Vernon Kaye' three weeks ago, has been spotted leaving Timpson's flat in Loseby Lane, Leicester. Timpson says Farber was just comforting him though. "I'm not ready for love," he told us, "Sally is a good friend, but that's all."

We will keep you informed on this shocking and all important news as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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