Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 18 January 2010

image for Jay Leno Has Just Passed Kanye West, Bernie Madoff, and Chris Brown As The Most Hated Man In America
A photo of some of Jay Leno's cars in his parking garage located in his backyard.

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Word coming out of Celluloid City is that NBC has pandered to Jay Leno and the man who owns over 6,000 classic automobiles will get his way.

In the meantime, the widely-liked Conan O'Brien will get his red-headed butt kicked to the gutter like a red-headed you-know-what.

King Jay has once again shown that just because he happens to look like Mr. Potato Head does not necessarily mean that he has an IQ in the low double digits.

Leno has proven again that when he talks the NBC brass listens, acts, reacts, and lines up single-file to kiss his Massachusetts ass.

And just how bright are the NBC big wigs? Well they will have to pay Conan what his contract calls for and that is reportedly around $40 million.

It looks like the Peacock People are going to have to peddle an awful lot of Compound W, WD-40, STP, and Preparation H.

And in all of this late night brouhaha who is happier than a woodpecker flying around in a Popsicle stick factory...none other than Alfred E. Newman himself, David "The Hair From Hell" Letterman.

For one, everyone has already forgotten all about Letterman's female writing staff problems. And for two, Letterman's ratings are going through the roof like Warren Beatty used to go through Hollywood starlets.

In fact, Letterman's numbers are so high, the government is checking to see if there may be steroids involved somewhere in the whole scheme of things.

In a developing story. NBC's Jimmy Fallon is reported to be in talks with executives of The Condiments Network about getting a 30-minute food show.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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