MINNEAPOLIS - The Minnesota Vikings soundly trounced the Dallas Cowboys 34-3. No one has been able to figure out why, but for some inexplicable reason the Cowboys left their offensive line and their whole defensive team in Texas.
Quarterback Tony Romo spent more time on his back than a cheap $10 Singapore whore.
The Cowboys offensive line forgot to block any of the Vikings front four and as a result the Cowboy QB was tackled from the front, the back, the sides, and once from the top. He spent more time on the ground than Aspen, Colorado snow.
Romo got tossed down so many times, he actually had to change uniforms at the half because his uniform got worn out.
One of the referees pointed out that Romo's helmet had dents, nicks, scratches, and what appeared to be a fresh hand held snow scraper cut.
Towards the end of the fourth quarter Dallas coach Wade Phillips was asked by a Fox reporter what in the world was wrong with his team. Wade looked at the reporter and replied, "I dunno, is SHE (Jessica Simpson) in the stands or what?"
A close friend, of Cowboys owner Jerry Jones who spoke under condition of anonymity, stated that Jones was so angry that he tossed a plate of nachos at his wife's hairstylist who was born in St. Paul, Minnesota.
The hairstylist reportedly stood up and got in Jerry's face. Jones apologized and Mr. WiWi accepted his apology and asked Jones for $300 so that he could have his Christian Dior miniskirt dry cleaned.
After the game, Jones was asked if he planned on making any coaching changes. Jones raised his eyebrows and said that he does not want to be specific at this time, but he will definitely be firing someone.
When the reporter asked who, Jones replied that he was seriously thinking about firing the damn effen Dallas Cowboys owner.
In a related story. Jessica Simpson was asked what she thought about the Cowboys loss. Simpson, who was sitting in section M, row 7, seat 9, was laughing so hard that the poor girl could not talk.