Local man Martin Shuttlecock could barely conceal his bitter disappointment this evening when he tuned in his HD TV hoping to see a movie double bill and found that the show was a sports programme featuring NFL teams Dallas Cowboys and Minnesota Vikings.
"I wasn't expecting that," he told us. "I thought it was going to be a film about Vikings, like that one with Kirk Douglas in it, where he only had one eye. After that I was looking forward to a western with John Wayne or Clint Eastwood or somebody similar..."
"It was my fault," Anne Shuttlecock interjected. "I just heard the announcer mention Cowboys and Vikings, so I told Martin there was a double bill on. Probably Kirk Douglas in an eye patch and a western. I thought it would be a treat for him to watch in HD. I suppose I should have checked the TV Guide properly."
"Too bloody right you should," Martin Shuttlecock hissed. Like an angry snake. Sort of. "Can you imagine what a shock to the system it was? I mean, I was all warmed up ready for Kirk and the Duke, and what did I get? I'll tell you what I got. Bloody outsized Yanks in helmets and shoulder pads lobbing a lump of pigskin about. And adverts every 20 seconds. Not a sodding longboat or a gunbelt or a ten gallon hat to be seen. Anywhere. What a load of shite."
It is anticipated that Martin Shuttlecock will sulk like a spoilt brat for a period not exceeding 36 hours. Anne Shuttlecock threw the dinner in the bin and burst into tears.
More domestic bliss as we get it.