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Sunday, 17 January 2010

image for Winnie the Pooh Says He Dislikes Honey
Friends of Pooh Everywhere Appear to be Sad

Famed children's book character and movie star Winnie the Pooh says he dislikes honey. "I never liked the stuff and I feel I am now old enough to say so," Winnie told reporters outside his Forest Hills home.

Honey protestors who have long thought of Pooh as their unofficial spokes-bear picketed the bear's home with signs reading, "Pooh, Pooh on Pooh!" and "Bears Love Honey!" A small child began to cry standing next to her picket-sign holding Mom and said, "Why can't they just leave Winnie alone?"

Cartoonists everywhere have attempted to reach Winnie the Pooh to offer alternative food likes that might be easily drawn over the honey jars shown in his comics, books, and movies to no avail.

Fellow cartoon friend Yogi Bear told the press outside of his home in Yellowstone, "I would never have the nerve! I mean Ranger Smith would kick me out of Yellowstone if I admitted such a thing, but I do feel for my dear friend Pooh."

Boo Boo Bear, who was also reached in Yellowstone, told the press, "It's about time that Pooh admitted it. I knew it all along but no one believed me. My statements about Pooh were always hushed by the press and Pooh's agents."

A call to Disney, who turned Winnie the Pooh into a superstar, was unanswered. Disney alumni Cinderella, however, told reporters, "He can come live at my castle anytime. I don't have honey anywhere. It's not good for my waistline."

As teary-eyed children everywhere beg for Winnie to rethink his statement and angry parents picket his home, Winnie appears to be sticking to his statement. A banner was thrown over Pooh's roof that read, "Honey sucks." More on this story as it develops.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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