One of the most eagerly awaited musical productions to hit the West End stage in years was given a lukewarm reception by critics and audience members alike, who gave the show an almost unanimous thumbs down.
The story focuses on bungling terrorists who spend their funds on clothes, flowers, and cab fares rather than explosives.
The high point of the production comes when the lead character Sayed, a florist, falls in love with a woman in a burka and serenades her by singing love songs to her about how attractive he finds her eyes, her eyebrows, and the bridge of her nose.
One audience member, a visitor from Burnley in Lancashire who opted to travel down south rather than see his favourite football team get stuffed 3-0 at Old Trafford, left with his wife at the interval.
"That's bollocks that," he snapped, as he emerged from the theatre with his wife. "It's not funny. It's bollocks. What a waste of money. We're off to the pub. Bloody London theatreland...I've shit it."
Another theatre-goer Quentin Cocksnatch of Chelsea was somewhat more forgiving, he told us:
"It wasn't that bad. There were some lovely ideas in there. I especially loved the gay terrorist. He was yummy."
So there you have it. Split Decision.
More as we get it.