For over thirty years now, the British tabloid press have been entertaining the working men of Britain with topless photographs of nubile nymphettes, usually tucked just inside the front page on page 3 or page 5 or in some instances, on every single page.
We can reveal exclusively that this practice will cease indefinitely as of April 1st 2010. Topless shots will feature as usual, up to and including March 31st in order to fulfill existing contracts, but after that date it will be no mas.
It appears that a rising groundswell of opinion in the UK considers that breasts have been overexposed to the point of saturation. Wherever you look in Britain today there are naked breasts on open display - in the papers, on TV, in magazines, on the internet, in bars, on trains and buses, and even in the nation's offices and factories.
Particularly in garages on calendars, where naked breasts have been a staple since the 1940's.
The feeling in Britain is that breasts have lost all their mystique, and ironically, it appears that die-hard breast afficionados are the very people behind the big cover up.
Tabloid Editor Stiffy Ramrod told us:
"We want to get tits back to the status they enjoyed in Victorian times. We want to give them back their mystery and fascination. Our aim is to restore the WOW! factor. A shapely set of hooters is far more than something to hang on to when you're doing it doggy style."
Glamour model Janie Jugz told us:
"I suppose they've got a point. I've had implants the size of beach balls - they turn the corner five minutes before I do - yet nobody gives me a second glance these days."
More as we get it - probably undercover.