After hearing a cruel comment by CBB's Vinnie Jones, that housemate Katia was so thick, she used all her mental powers to focus on putting one foot in front of the other, Chairman of charitable trust 'Surgery For All' Plastique Bertrand, who once had a hit record in the 1970's with 'Ca Plane Pour Moi' announced that Katia would be offered brain augmentation surgery at no personal cost, in order to enrich her wretched existence.
Katia, famous only for being a bit of a boiler and for having a really irritating fake laugh will be offered the procedure upon her eviction from the house in the first round, along with Hollywood Madame, Heidi Fleiss.
It is thought that Sov will survive the eviction vote because she is selfish, a gobshite, forever moaning about something or other, ergo - good telly.
In related news, the Geordie bloke who does the voiceover is currently looking for a new job. So if anybody knows anybody who is in search of a Geordie bloke who is shit hot at telling you what time it is, where people are, and what they're doing, then don't call me.
More BB Bollocks as I make it up.