ATLANTA - American Idol contestant Antonio Wheeler, alias Skiibosky, sang Marvin Gaye's "I Heard It Through The Grapevine" and he has no idea how true and damaging the song title actually was.
The self-nickname penned Skiibosky was dressed in a fire engine red suit that looks like he could have stolen it from one of the Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus clowns.
Skiibosky made a good counter-match for Simon "The Scowl" Cowell. Simon did not like the Ski Man, but Randy (Jackson), Kara (DioGuardi), and Mary J. (Blidge) did so he was given a yellow ticket to Hollywood.
After the last contestant auditioned Ryan Seacrest was informed by an unnamed source that Skiibosky had an arrest record.
Seacrest checked with the Atlanta Police Department and was told that a Mr. Antonio Wheeler, alias "The Wheeler Dealer," alias "The Ski Mask Avenger," alias "Yo Bro" had in fact been charged with five counts including -
- Making sexually explicit farm animals out of Play Doh.
- Selling large quantities of illegal monosodium glutamate.
- Second degree assault on a performing sock puppet.
- Illegally downloading 18,903 MP3's.
- Transporting T-Shirts with the wording "Prostitutes are just in it for the money" across a state line.
Seacrest immediately sent a text message to American Idol Producer Simon Shindlebocker and he called up Skiibosky and told him that he had been disqualified from any further participation in the show.
In other news. Weather reports coming out of Alaska state that the state is experiencing record lows in the minus 40's. One life long Alaskan resident said that it is so cold that the other day he saw a polar bear catch three otters and light them on fire in order to try and keep warm.