Written by Skoob1999
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Wednesday, 13 January 2010

image for Image Of Jesus Found On David Beckham
Milan Fan Celebrates 3-0 Win Over Juve.

When David Beckham stripped off for a kit change during AC Milan's 3-0 win over Juventus, eagle-eyed Milan fan Carlo Cosa-Nostra almost choked on his cappucino.

For right there, just above the former Manchester United, Real Madrid and England midfielder's right hip was the unmistakable figure of Our Lord Jesus.

Our Lord has been spotted in a number of unlikely places over the years - including scorched into a naan bread, in a halved blood orange, on a toilet door, and in a chunky Kit-Kat - but never before on David Beckham's right hip.

"Eet was Our Lord!" Cosa-Nostra told us. "No doubt about eet. Eet was the perfetto imagum of da Nazarene. Ee was seeting down wearing da crowna da thorns and a contemplating da meestery of life. I nevva see da image of a da Christo so clear before. Eez a miracolo!"

Erm, not quite. It would appear.

Having gained access to David Beckham in the Milan dressing room after the game, our Italian correspondent Gino DiMaggiori told us:

"Eez true. Da Beckham have a da Christo onna da heep. But issa no miracolo. Izza tattoo. Inko de India."

When we told Cosa-Nostra that his 'miracolo' was not as 'miracoloso' as he thought, he remained undeterred, and headed back downtown to buy a cast replica of the city's duomo "just inna case a da Berlusconi comma backa to Milano," he told us.

More miracles as they come in.

(Providing we no a sleepa wit da fishes.)

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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