Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 12 January 2010

image for The Selena Gomez Purity Ring Is Breaking Sales Records
The Selena Gomez Purity Ring. It can be purchased on eBay and comes with a money back guarantee if it doesn't work.

HOLLYWOOD - The national Who's Buying What Product Agency has reported that at present the number one selling item is The Selena Gomez Purity Ring.

They say that it has even surpassed The Miley Cyrus - Hannah Montana Lunchbox, The Demi Lovato Instant Guacamole Dip Mix, and the Vanessa Hudgens Lip and Nose Gloss.

Frumpter Dublinfire, director of The Who's Buying What Product Agency stated that the way the sales of Gomez's purity ring are going they could very well end up shattering the sales records of both The Madonna 48-Hour Pantiliners, and The Angelina Jolie Do-It-Yourself Collagen Lip Injecting Liquid.

Dublinfire was asked what is it about The Selena Gomez Purity Ring that is causing it to have such astronomical sales.

The agency director shook his head and replied that it is just a case of today's young teenage girls making the statement that they will no longer allow themselves to be intimately touched and pawed by every Tom, Dick, and Harry.

Today's teenage girl has finally realized that if she acts like a little slut, then her chances of one day meeting and marrying her blue prince will be diminished by as much as 97 percent.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Just ask Lindsay Lohan, Tila Tequila, Monica Lewinski, or Tonya Harding.]

Mr. Dublinfire added that all one has to do is to take a look at the men that women like Heather Locklear, Britney Spears, and Lisa Marie Presley have attracted.

In other news. 97-year-old Cloris Leachman has stated that she has developed a diet prune juice drink for elderly women called "Poof Away." The non-cal drink not only helps to keep an older woman regular, but also helps to remove cellulite from such intimate places as the tonsils, the ovaries, and yes, even the G-Spot.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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