Written by AnThOnY hAyEs
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Tuesday, 12 January 2010

image for New X Factor Judge For 2010 Series
Steohen Hawkings real appearance

Simon Cowell said that there were going to be big surprises in store for the 2010 series of the X Factor but when he announced that Danii Minogue would be replaced by Stephen Hawking, we were all relieved.

We all knew from the moment that she was hired that she was only there for one reason. She was a lesbo (Oh, yeah, she was Kylie's sister). Tonight though, in a press confrence from the new home of ITV, West Pakistan Hospital, Simon Cowell revealed that Danii would be replaced by the man who talks with machines (Sorry meant through a machine)!

If you don't know who Stephen is we have a short description of him. He is a 14 year old boy from Easter Island and he is the man who is said to have created the, so called, Easter Island Heads, which were meant to be a portrait of his mother. He has won numerous awards all over the world including, the laziest man in the world award two years running for talking through a mcahine and the 2009 disabled pimp of the year.

Some have said that he only got the job becasue of the awards that he recieved and becaue he will be able to talk to toasters through his magic machine. Others say that he got the job because he relates very well to reatards all over the world.

Simon Cowell said that he hired Hawk-head because he has a better understanding of music than Danii.

Whatever the reason for him getting hired, one thing is for sure. Stephen Hawking is a tissue box, stuck in a man's body.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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