Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: The Bachelor

Tuesday, 12 January 2010

image for The Bachelor Scandal Saga Continues With Miss P. Thrown Under The Bus
The Bachelor Rose that Rosarita Pappalardi will definitely not be getting.

HOLLYWOOD - One of the girls who is vying for the affections of this years Bachelor, Rosarita Velveeta Pappalardi, has been asked to gather up all of her Revlon, Cover Girl, and Maybelline stuff and get the hell out of Dodge.

Pappalardi admitted to one of the shows insiders, Dicky Parlsey, that the shows executives treated her very unfriendly and blatantly have decided to throw her under the bus.

She was accused of having an affair with one of the shows cameramen Bartholomew Q. Wolverhampton, III, who just recently turned 64.

She said that she was told that she had three choices. Admit the affair and leave on her own. Admit the affair and beg for forgiveness and maybe she can stay. Or deny it and she will get kicked out on her perfectly shaped booty and everyone will know that she is really nothing more than a much prettier attention seeking hound version of The Colorado Balloon Mama and the blonde White House Party Crasher.

Rosarita said that she volunteered to take a lie detector test. She was told that a lie detector machine was not available.

She offered to go to a lie detector rental shop and rent one. She was told that all of the lie detector rental shops were closed. She told them that it was 1 p.m. in the afternoon. They told her that all die detector shops close at noon.

She then told them that she would be willing to submit to a pap smear so that they could check her DNA and compare it with the DNA in Barty's Spider Man underwear.

Parsley said that she was told that, that was kind of yucky and that no one wanted to be the one to either administer the pap smear or compare it to the DNA in Barty's Spider Man shorts.

Miss Papplardi got so fed up with the shabby way that she was being treated that she just gathered up her things and left.

She told one of the shows producers that she was going to tell her side of the story on Entertainment Tonight, Access Hollywood, The Oprah Winfrey Show, The Ellen DeGeneres Show, The Today Show, Telemundo, and on Wheel of Fortune.

In other news. Angelina Jolie was so busy whining and pouting last week about Brad, and Jennifer (Aniston), and her swollen lips, that she did not have time to adopt another baby.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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