Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 12 January 2010

image for Adam Lambert Has Decided To Sell The San Diego Chargers
A photo taken by Adam Lambert showing one of the 20 drains found in the San Diego Chargers shower stalls.

SAN DIEGO - The owner of the San Diego Charges, Adam Lambert, has reportedly decided to sell the Southern California NFL team which he purchased seven months ago.

Lambert confided to his good friend and fellow handball player Ryan Seacrest that his singing career does not really allow him to visit the San Diego Chargers locker room as much as he really would like.

He said that this year he only got to visit the locker room twice and ended up spending more time signing autographs for his players than he did actually gazing and gawking at his players showering.

Adam said that his initial intention was to have gone into the dressing room after every home game with a bottle of Jack Daniels and basically just sitting around and taking cell phone pictures of his players taking a shower.

He was quick to point out that he did not mean that to sound gay in any way, shape, or form. He just meant that he would have liked to have been able to bond with his players in a way that an owner can do, much like Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones does.

Lambert said that he realizes that he has to get back to focusing on his singing career so that he can make tons of money and one day have enough to be able to purchase the Los Angeles Lakers and get to watch Kobe Bryant and Lamar Odom taking a shower.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Jerry Jones has been known to enter the Cowboys locker room after a game, but when he does he always looks up at the ceiling when he goes anywhere near the shower stalls.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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