LOS ANGELES - NBC has finally decided to cancel The Jay Leno Show.
A representative for NBC said that the ratings had gotten so bad that other stations were beating Jay with shows like The Cloris Leachman Ailments Hour, and reruns of reruns of shows like The Highlights of Lawrence Welk, The Best of C-Span and Handy Tips On The Proper Use of Spoons from The Kitchen Utensils Network.
One night one of the networks had technical difficulties for 30 minutes and it still managed to beat out Leno.
Jay was asked if his ego had gotten trounced a bit. He smiled and said "Trounced? Hell my ego got body slammed by Hulk Hogan, then it got picked up by Ron Artest and slammed up against the wall, and afterwards Kirstie Alley walked over and sat on it completely putting the finishing touches on the sucker."
Leno was asked how NBC told him that his 10 p.m. show was being cancelled and replaced by a reality show Nadya and Kate Plus 22.
He replied that they did not tell him. One day last week he was in his office and there was a knock on the door. He opened the door and there were two FedEx men standing there.
One of them asked him where he wanted the playpens, high-chairs, and 50 boxes of disposable diapers.
Leno told them that they must have the wrong address. One of the FedEx workers said no this is the right address, we double checked it. Leno looked at the purchase order and read where the delivery name was Jay Leno, but it had been crossed out and over it was written Nadya and Kate Plus 22.
Jay said, "And that is how I effen found out that my effen show had been effen cancelled."
In news from the world of sports. The man who invented bottled water F. Clancy Numberhouse has just announced that he will be building a dome stadium in Philadelphia which will be home to the Philadelphia Phillies and the Philadelphia Eagles.
A lot of Philadelphian's do not like the name that Numberhouse has chosen for the dome, which is The Preparation H Dome. Numberhouse grinned, took a sip from his cognac, and said that whoever doesn't like it can stick it up their (blank) and he added pun intended.