Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 13 January 2010

image for The 2-14 Detroit Lions Hire A Louisiana Voodoo Witch Doctor
In one of the Lions promotions they offered a free team autographed football to the first 500 fans. 397 Fans showed up.

DETROIT - The owner and Chairman of The Detroit Lions, William Clay Ford, met with his son and Vice-Chairman William Clay Ford, Jr., and the Assistant Vice-Chairman Woody Cadillac to discuss the dismal 2-14 season the team just finished having.

Chairman Ford said that putting this years record with last years 0-16 record gives the Lions a combined record of 2-30.

He said that as a result of the horrible record, the ticket sales have fallen off drastically. He said that even the team's 'Five Cent Beer' promotion and their "Nine Cent Ribeye Steak' promotion did not really help to bring in that many more fans.

Ford did say that their "Women In Short Shorts Get In For A Nickle" promotion did help to bring in at least 7,000 more fans, mostly males between the ages of 9 and 89.

He has promised to repeat that particular promotion again next season, but he did say, that as per the suggestions of thousands of women, the short shorts promotion will be held in September instead of December when the temperature dipped down to 12 degrees.

William Clay Ford said that he is really desperate to find some way for the Lions to at least play 500 ball next year.

He was recently sent an anonymous letter about a voodoo witch doctor who resides down in the bayous of New Iberia, Louisiana.

The letter writer said that he has known this voodoo witch doctor for 30 years and he has seen him cast spells that have sunk ships, repelled hurricanes, and given the New Orleans Saints a winning record.

SIDENOTE: William Clay Ford flew down to New Iberia and met with the voodoo witch doctor known as Elijah Du Souffle. Ford was promised that next season his Lions will at least win half of their games. He wrote Du Souffle a check for $10,000 which is non-refundable.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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